Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
