Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
