Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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