Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The Olympian is in my bed
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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