am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
