I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize