You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
