remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize