Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
