But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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