I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
