I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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