you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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