Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
