Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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