There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
