So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
