I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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