How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
