His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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