What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
