She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
