I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
