we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
