friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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