i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
