Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
