Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
