There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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