I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
