apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
