My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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