I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
