before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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