shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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