before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
