He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
