It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's shark week go big or go home
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
