this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
