According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
