Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
