I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
vagina is talking i cant
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
