My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
