I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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