We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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