so explain again why im purple
no
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
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But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
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Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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