Your tits are I can't wait for
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
