Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
