I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
