we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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