is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
