I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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