i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.