I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit