You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
