If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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