Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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