I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
