you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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