My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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