and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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