Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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