So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
