I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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