Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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